|
Humor
|
|
Simborg's Laws of Backgammon
|
by Phil Simborg, 1996
|
|
|
|
- It's easy to tell when you have a great rollthe dice will be cocked.
- Never give a cube you're afraid will be taken.
- Buying your opponent drinks is the best investment you'll ever make.
- No cube is too big if the stakes are too low.
- The secret of success is to always play worse players (and roll great).
- The number of good rolls is directly proportional to the number of good plays.
- It's easy to make a great play: just think of a really dumb play, and do the opposite.
- He who bears off last, laughs last.
- I like opponents who have courtesy and cash.
- If you want to really bore someone, tell them all about your bad rolls.
- Happiness is a two hour box run.
- The shortest distance between two points is a drop.
- You are most likely to win back games when it's your opponent who is playing them.
- If you want someone to really hate you, right after you win a game, point out what they did wrong.
- Anyone who isn't superstitous hasn't played backgammon.
- When the match is over, everyone thinks they rolled worse.
- Everyone thinks they roll worse than the next guy.
- If two players break even, they will both be pissed.
- It's not a good box run until you've lost the box without getting killed that last game.
- Every roll makes somebody happy.
- Nobody really feels sorry for the other guy when he loses.
- Everyone likes cash.
- Everyone is superstitious about something.
- Except for Jake, nobody actually keeps an honest record of what they've won or lost.
- Nobody likes to drop a cube.
- A drunk opponent is the best opponent.
- Most "accidentally" wrong plays seem to work in favor of the player who moved the checkers.
- Everyone steams some time.
- It is better to cube too late than too early.
- If you are consistently unlucky, it probably isn't the dice at all.
- If you can't take all the cubes, you probably shouldn't take any.
- If you are playing this game for a living, you ain't living.
- Sometimes, you just got to scream and shout and let it out!
|
|
Return to:
Backgammon Galore
|
|
|
|