NO GAMBLING. Backgammon is fun for the entire family. We are here for comraderie and intellektual stimulation. POOR SPORTSMANSHIP including calling your opponent's bad numbers; throwing the cups or dice: threatening violence; insulting one's family, speech, looks or I.Q.; and general poor sportsmanship, WILL NOT BE TOLERATED until after the dice are picked up. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE. You may speak German, Armenian, Turkish, Yiddish—but FRENCH WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. CHEATING. Anyone found cheating or acting unethical in any way WILL BE BARRED FROM THE GAME for one round. CRY ABOUT YOUR ROLLS SOMEWHERE ELSE. Everyone thinks they roll bad. If you want sympathy, get a dog. NO EXCESSIVE THINKING. It won't help anyway—if you were so smart, you wouldn't be here—so don't waste everyone's time. DRESS CODE STRICTLY ENFORCED. If you wear a dress, it must be a short one. REMEMBER: Tip your waiter well ... he'd rather be somewhere and someone else too!

Phil Simborg is a fulltime backgammon player and teacher. You can contact Phil at: psimborg@sbcglobal.net or visit his web site: http://www.thebackgammonlearningcenter.com

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	Other backgammon humor

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